Happy Mother’s Day! Mother’s day can be a tough holiday for some families and it’s not talked about frequently. I recently read a post from leaf-and-steel.com that said, “I Hate Mother’s Day” and I think everyone should go read it. I highly recommend reading the post since she talks about what it’s like to be over touched and how much sacrifice motherhood is. Olivia’s post inspired me to write about how hard Mother’s Day can be.
For me, I feel guilty on Mother’s Day because I am a mom of four, have angel babies, and suffer from secondary infertility. I am so thankful for my children and thankful that I have the luxury and ability to homeschool, stay home, and build my home with them. I enjoy seeing my children grow from tiny infants to elementary school kids learning about science. My kids are independent, hard working, and kind hearted because of all the work I pour into them day in and day out.
But, I also feel guilty due to how much money I have poured into my infertility journey and how many years we have gone through testing. Nobody can give me clear answers and it’s heartbreaking. I feel like I am cheating on Mother’s Day because I dream of having a large family and we are struggling to get there and it’s my fault. I know I should not feel guilty, but infertility is one of the hardest things I have had to go through with very few answers. I also feel guilty because there are so many people who wish they could have one child and I have four children on earth. It’s an internal battle I have dealt with the past few Mother’s Day. I also know I am not the only one who suffers from the same feelings.
How do I personally deal with all these feelings? I am lucky enough to be able to go spend the day by myself to recharge. I have the ability to leave my children with their dad, I will be going out to brunch with some other mom’s, and will be going retail therapy shopping. I am thankful that this Mother’s Day will be relaxing.
I hope everyone on Mother’s Day who is a mom, soon to be mom, angel mom, trying to conceive, etc is able to get the day they wish for.